Kimster's Guide to the Single Lady's Holiday

I’m the type of gal who loves relationships...long, healthy relationships. Honestly, who doesn’t? However, some relationship partners turn out to be almost like creatures of the night! But don’t grudge and curse your single status. Embrace it! It is a time of reunification, peace, reflection, healing, growth, and, most of all, you time. Think about it. Isn’t the best point to consider a potential relationship when you’re doing your own thing and engaging in your own personal interests? Not only do you seem more interesting to a potential suitor, but you’re already happy with what life is offering. You two can share in some of these activities together while also still giving you the ability to have your own life set apart from someone else. It is no fun having all of your hopes and desires solely resting on someone who could possibly let you down and leave you scrambling for the pieces. I recently found out my ex lied and deliberately blew me off this past Valentine’s Day. I think I was initially most angry because, honestly, if he didn’t want to be together I could have been off doing my own thing with someone better, or at least at a party (with the potential of meeting someone else ;) In hindsight I was too wrapped up with little time to change my plans and go do my own thing, but lesson learned.

 

So, without further ado, here’s Kimster’s Guide to the Single Lady’s Holiday :  

 

 

January 1 –  Resolution Day: New year. New adventures. Oh, the possibilities! So let the balls drop!! ;)

 

January 16 – Cultural Diversity Day: Spend time with all of your friends or even go to a museum.

 

February 14 – ‘Happy Unattached Drifters Day!’ Courtesy of Supernatural. ;) Sweets to the sweet. Shower yourself with chocolate, love, and wine. Want to go out dining and immerse yourself in a glass of Chianti? Go right ahead! Treat yourself; because who is better to love than you? No worries about being let down. Go to the spa, get ice cream, or watch a basketball game. Have a blast on your day.

 

March 11 - Spring Forward Day: I know most of us grudge Daylight Savings Time because of the loss of an hour, but enjoy the extra of sunlight and spring forward to the next chapter of your life!

 

March 17 - Luck of the Irish Day: You might not be head over heels with the idea of kissing a stranger, but that’s not to say that you can’t put on your sexiest green outfit, turn some heads, and bask in the attention of some admirers.

 

April 22 - Enjoy the Earth Day: It's spring and most of the pollen has already fallen so get out and bike, jog, or have a yummy picnic. Don’t forget to recycle!

 

May 28 - Memory Lane Day: Time to remember all of the great things about yourself and enjoy being you!

  

June 6 - Yo-Yo Day: You deserve to smile, so get back to your childhood and fun with some Yo-Yo madness.

June 14 - Flag Day: Wave your white, red, polka dot, or floral flag of single life!

 

July 4 – ID4: It’s time to celebrate your independence ladies, grill some burgers, have a beer, and don that retro two piece bathing suit you have been dying to wear at the pool.

 

August 10 – National S'mores Day: If you have a fear of spiders like me, no worries, you don't have to be camping to kick your feet up and toast some delicious s'mores.

 

September – Labor Day: Take this time off to pamper yourself. You deserve it! Whether that's going to the spa or curling up to a good book while eating popcorn, when you work hard, you deserve a break.

 

October 31 – Dress Up Day: Halloween isn't only for children. Have you been dying to pull out that Tina Turner outfit? How about Wolverine? Well, here's your chance, so grab some of your girls and head to the nearest Halloween party. Who knows? You might even meet Prince Charming. (He'll be the one with the sword on his hip ;)

 

November 25 – Thanksgiving Day: If you're safe, healthy, and happy, it's time to spend time with family and friends and give thanks!

 

December 25 – Christmas: Another holiday to truly be thankful for all and everyone you have. Instead of spending hundreds of dollars on someone who may not appreciate the sentiment or return the affection, think about the ones you love. Has your dad been complaining about his back? Clear the winter ice/snow from the driveway and cars. Doing for others and seeing the happiness light up their faces is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.

5 Reasons Why I Will Never Buy a Convertible

So there I was, cruising down the highway in my CR-V with the windows rolled down, the wind in my hair, and Corey Hart melodically lamenting about his nighttime eyewear apparel. And then...

Plop!

A bird dropped a 6.7 right on my windshield. Gag. Now, what did I ever do to that bird to make him so...angry?! So here are the top 5 reasons why you will never see my cute self behind the wheel of a convertible. (At least not on a long-term basis.)

1. Random hail-like bird poop droppings. Can you imagine that landing on your head, the fabric of your seats, or down your face?!! The horror.
2. I've never been very elegant in the "windblown look" department; I always get that one strand of hair in my eye which has to then be ungracefully removed. I'll most likely end up looking like the Bride of Frankenstein by the time I arrive at my destination. 
3. You'd be surprised at the number of times I have been approached by random Creepy McCreepies knocking on my car window. Seriously? I'm not taking any chances with the vulnerability of a convertible.
4. Pollen. 'Tree sperm' and I have a love-hate relationship.
5. Just my luck, the top would just so happen to malfunction when I was trying to avoid a massive and unexpected rainstorm.

By the way, I'm pretty sure, based on what was left on my windshield, that the bird was a tiny cannibal.

Think Like a Woman

One of my new favorite online series to check in on every now and then is the Ask a Very Smart Brotha Live Series on Madamenoire.com. Pittsburgh native Damon Young is the co-founder of the popular Verysmartbrothas.com. Young answers reader's (primarily female) questions or requests on advice on the comings, goings, actions, and habits of men. I imagine the common mindset is 'What's better to understand a man than to get a male perspective, right?' His series is what I like to call, “real talk”. The common sense of the dating and relationship world is sometimes difficult to see and understand objectively when you’re in the throws of a rocky or downright bad relationship; or if you're head over heels in love. Young is straight up with his responses and pulls no punches, but many times can still answer with a sense of humor. One woman asked him if he thought cheating on a partner was okay if the partner cheated first. Young responded that if she wanted to play "Herpes Bingo" then to go right ahead.

 

As a recently single woman having experienced a quarter of a century of love, loss, and learning, I don’t think it’s a matter of thinking like a man, like the book and upcoming film suggest because then women get cynical and maybe even enter into a realm of their own brand of “game playing” which is, most likely, not who they really are. Ladies should respect themselves enough to know their own self worth without allowing someone’s disrespect, decrease of affection or insensitivity to lessen the way they view themselves. Also, with the two ears that God has given us, listening to what a man says should be at the forefront. 

I repeat: Understand the words that are coming out of his mouth! 

If he tells you that “you’re (or the relationship itself is) not as important as everything else in his life”, or after months of the relationship he is suddenly flipping the script and saying “who knows if we’ll be together in the future” then he is not the one for you. Walk run away from that. He is telling you the truth and sooner rather than later his actions will begin to emphasize his mindset. This may involve him letting you down when it comes to plans, not making any at all, not returning your calls/texts, or bailing on important dates and occasions. Ladies, you don’t have to think like a man, just pay attention to what your man is saying he is thinking.

 

I don’t believe in “thinking” like a man because half of the time women waste precious time and put themselves through the ringer and emotional episodes trying to figure out what men are thinking and the “whys” of some men and their unacceptable actions. Don’t bother. I think Cristina Yang's revelation on Grey's Anatomy last Thursday, after finding out about her husband's infidelity, said it best, 

                "I have an M.D. and a PhD. I'm a freaking cardio-thoracic 

                surgeon. I'm supposed to be studying for boards, the most 

                important exam of my life and I'm locked in the bathroom 

                crying...because of a boy" ~Cristina Yang

We as women have too much going for ourselves and are too strong, beautiful, and intelligent to allow the heartless or senseless actions of someone to crumble the world we have worked so hard to create for ourselves. 

'The Big Picture'

I’ve seen this photo floating around Facebook and I think what disturbs me the most is when I see comments beneath it like, “Yeah, finally someone said it!” or “I hope the real facts come to light now!” What disturbs me about these comments is that there almost seems to be a mindset, illustrated by this photo, that if the law can prove that Trayvon Martin was ‘just a thug’ through pictures and documentation of high school punishments and reprimands, then his killing will be justified.

I’m not naïve to the fact that various media outlets have their own bias, be it political or social; Fox News comes to mind. With that said, the media is going to show what it thinks will shock viewers. This case is shock worthy in its own right when you look at the case, outside of race lines, and see that an unarmed 17 year old was killed by a self appointed head neighborhood watch guard who allegedly pursued the victim. The reason that this case has become a firestorm in the media is very much due to race, and the fact that the victim was unarmed, hadn’t even reached the age to vote yet, and had no criminal record.

When I look at the four quadrants of this larger photo, I’m not fazed by the Cheshire grin of Zimmerman’s job photo ID. I am fazed by the fact that he has a mugshot. A mugshot that was taken based on documented charges that allude to a history of violence. While the charges may have been dropped, it’s pretty coincidental that both of his parents had occupations within the judicial system. The photo of Martin flipping the bird to the camera may be lackluster, shall we say, and was obtained from a social network. I sincerely hope that if you, reader, are ever in trouble with the law that the Facebook photo of you cocking your sawed-off shotgun, ogling the semi-nude spring break co-ed, or visibly drunk amongst bottles of liquor during the underage years of high school never surfaces.

Oh, but wait.

Trayvon Martin wasn’t in trouble with the law.

He was killed.



Photo courtesy of http://imgace.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/dont-believe-in-the-media-narrative.jpg

A Word to the Wise...

A Word to the Wise...

When you see a woman whose heart has been broken, do not pity or mourn for her. Pity the clod who broke her heart because she will find a strength within her she never knew existed and she will blossom into a flower of epic proportion. The simpleton, who spews lies on a whim, cheats like a gambler, gives way to temptation, and leaves broken hearts in his wake will someday soon realize he has lost a prized treasure. While void of truths, conscience and dignity, he will drown in his own shortcomings and rue the day he broke her heart. 

Her. 

'The one who got away'. The one who was better than him in every way, but still loved him the most.

You can't always see his true self at first, but lies wear away like the thin veil that separates two worlds. A mask is only temporary and his true colors bled through. The view is always greener until you stumble upon the snake in the grass. And while he clung to his pride the way a thief clings to his loot, he has fallen into the filth of said pride. When he thinks of her, know this: She will have forgiven and forgotten him and become who her courage was waiting for her to become. 

So this is for you. Enjoy your purgatory.

K.G. 

Not Your Average Pipe Cleaner

So, I've never wanted to tidy up my bathroom more than I do now. I mean, wowzers! Who knew a Plumr® commercial could be so...dirty?! And sexy. Muy caliente! A woman is shopping for a drain de-clogger when she notices the title 'double impact' and begins a very vivid daydream. Suddenly two hunks show up at her front door ready to "snake the drain" and "flush the pipe" and she invites them in with no hesitation. She then seems to have a, a-hem, reaction that can only be compared to something along the lines of ummm,
"Overstock.com". *Wink

The commercial is laced with innuendos and double entendrés. Double Impact is also the title of the 1991 Jean Claude Van Damme action movie with its own share of sexiness where Van Damme plays dual roles as twins hunting the man who killed their parents and separated them from one another. Most of the plumbers people are familiar with are typically sweaty with butt cracks playing hide and seek, or there's Mario and Luigi saving the day with mushrooms, fireballs, and golden stars. In the Plumr® commercial there were screen shots of melons, pipes, flowing liquid, and a meat slicer...in motion. Kevin Michael Richardson's deep, husky voice in the background adds to the Shaft-like sexiness and appeal of getting you in the mood.

Whoa.

I feel like I need a cold shower just from talking about this commercial. I seem to have found the original super sexy version cut down for TV. Judge the sexiness for yourself.

Troy Mezze Lounge Review

A few weeks ago I had my first experience with Turkish cuisine. I came to Troy Mezze for a lyricist performance, so the restaurant was reserved for the event. The atmosphere was dimly lit with beautiful artwork and tapestry. Some walls were arched over a shiny and pristine wrap-around bar while others contained warm, decorative wall paper. Booth seats and tables lined the side of the restaurant. I had the Turkish Pastrami Pastry (Pacanga) dish which consisted of a Pan-fried pastry stuffed with Turkish pastrami, kasari cheese, and tomatoes. This dish was delicious and I ate every last bit, but my dessert wasn't as appealing. I had the Rice Pudding, which I'm used to always eating warm. Troy Mezze's cold rice pudding just wasn't as appealing to me. I very much look forward to going back to Troy Mezze for the food, atmosphere, and any events held there.

King of Flubs: Burger King's Mary J. Blige Ad

Apparently there's been a huge uproar and backfire over Burger King's Mary J. Blige crispy chicken commercial. So much so that the ad was quickly removed until further completion. Many fans were offended that the commercial proliferated racial stereotypes of African Americans and chicken. In the commercial Blige stands in the middle of the restaurant performing a song with lyrics about crispy chicken, lettuce, and cheese against the melody of her own song, Don't Mind. Burger King, which has been dealing with falling into the slot of third most popular hamburger chain, has definitely attained some media time now.

Maybe because I've seen Burger King crispy chicken commercials featuring other celebrities, I did not immediately jump on a racially offended band wagon. Selma Hayek and David Beckham also have commercials playing on their strengths of actress and sex symbols; Blige's is singing.

Fans were disappointed in Blige taking part in this commercial with comments such as her being a "serious artist" and "intense person". She responded to fan reaction in a statement on TMZ, "I agreed to be a part of a fun and creative campaign that was supposed to feature a dream sequence. Unfortunately, that's not what was happening in that clip...I understand my fans being upset by what they saw. But, if you're a Mary fan, you have to know I would never allow an unfinished spot like the one you saw go out." Honestly, I don't know what else can be done to the commercial that will appease fans if the action of an urban artist singing about chicken is still there. Would it have made people feel better if Justin Timberlake had been singing the hook in the background? As you may remember, he did that for a McDonald's promotion and received no qualms. True, he wasn't specifically singing about crispy chicken, but I wonder if the fall out would have been as negative. If Blige had started to sing Real Love to the guy taking her order in the way that Hayek and Beckham attempt to seduce theirs, would that have appeased viewers? I ask these questions because I wasn't offended by the commercial. I thought it was silly like the others and it looked like it was made during one of my past middle school house parties with Blige wearing Mr. Freeze "Be Cool" shades, but that isn't Blige's fault.

Logo courtesy of http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Burger_King_Logo.svg

'True Grits'

Quaker has really been stepping its breakfast and snack game up with new breakfast bars, cookies, grits and Oatmeal...Express! Recently I saw a commercial for the new Quaker soft baked cookie and it was pretty funny. In the commercial one lady is holding up the cookie reveling in its yumminess while her neighbor takes a bite out of it over the hedges. Though her neighbor is shocked, "Miss My Germs" denies the transgression and takes another bite.

The cookies themselves look yummy, and I imagine warmed up they're delicious. However, don't hold me to that too firmly because today I tried a Quaker Stila Oat Bar and was pretty disappointed. The bar tasted like a bland piece of toast with strawberry jelly on it. Well, I got the box for free so if I'm in dire need of a snack, I'll probably have another.

My Born Day

My birthday is at the end of this month! Yay! The big Quarter of a Century! :)

One of the highlights of my birthday month, besides awesomeness, is an array of coupons, discounts and freebie deals emailed or mailed to me throughout the month from stores, restaurants and online sites where I'm registered!

Also, I know I'm getting old when my birthday wish list only consists of gift cards, a massage, and a USB flash drive. But honestly, I really want a huge vase of beautiful flowers waiting for me. I think it's a pipe dream these days, but, a girl can dream...

Kimsterism of the Day (4/4)

'Ladies, if a man wants to be with you, you won't have to wonder; he'll be right there beside you proving it to you.'

'Trust your gut and your instincts. They are your heart's life preservers.'

 K.G.