Sunday, June 16, 2013

True Blood Season 6 Premiere: A Threesome, 20 Second Screen Times, and Benjamin Buttons

SPOILERS:

"Just when I thought I was out...they pull me back in!"

I had thrown up my hands on True Blood but opted to watch the season premiere tonight with my dad for Father's Day. Nicely played, True Blood. Nicely played. Picking up right where the season 5 finale left off, Billith, resurrected in his birthday suit covered in blood, chases after the mixed posse of Eric, Sookie, Jason, Pam, Tara, Jessica, and Nora. Having wasted her powers shouting at the sky, Sookie is now a glorified night light when times are tough. Jason is the redeeming, comedic genius in a scene that had everyone running around like chickens with their heads cut off randomly stopping at the beach to...clear their heads? Bill practically rips Jessica apart in his summons of her, but she still opts to stay by his side and be his "good guy anchor". However, that task may prove difficult since absolute power corrupts absolutely, and Bill's mood swings now trigger earthquakes, he can catch glasses of blood with his mind, bend spoons...sorry, wrong guy on that last one. Anyway, during a stake-off, Sookie chooses Eric over Bill and stakes Bill through the heart only to find out that he is seemingly invulnerable.

Luna didn't last a full minute onscreen before her Reverend Newlin transformation resulted in her death in front of her daughter and Sam. 

Lafayette wasn't in the episode nearly enough. 

Eric's range of emotions onscreen was hard not to drool over. So hot.

Between Pam and Eric, Pam is the only one who seems to feel that their 100+ years together, which she makes a point to mention often to Tara, means mutual respect, considering she still lets him talk down to her like the perfume "salesman" in the Walmart parking lot. 

Alcide got his "Magic Mike" nudity on...again, but this time had a threesome thrown in the mix spewing puns right in our faces. 

Rutger Hauer made his first appearance as Niall, but we shall see if the writers leave him as a protective fairy grandfather figure to Sookie and Jason, or turn him into Warlow's alter ego or some crap like that.

Andy's four fae babies, delivered last season in a gymnastic display of orgasmic proportions, went from baby to about 4 years old in the span of a night. Considering the elder fairies in the land of Fae still look like Old Navy models, I think the kids are alright. 

Also, True Blood is a show known for naming its episodes after song titles, and Mikky Ekko's song :Who Are You, Really?" has been on repeat on my phone for days. 

Who knows what the next 9 episodes will bring. What did you think of the premiere? Will you be watching this season?


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