Bleach 308: Mega Mush

Face mush

n. v.

                An ultimate act of insult by placing one’s hand on the face of another and pushing off. The action may be quick, or slow and enclosing.

Mega mush

n. v.

                The act of face mushing someone with a hand and arm that is amplified with power while simultaneously lifting and taking them from one location to another.

"If you haven't been watching Bleach, do it! Now." That is a quote from my brother to me, which I will now pass on to you. Bleach is a Japanese manga series on Cartoon Network about Soul Reapers, like Ichigo, who protect humans from evil spirits and guide departed souls to the afterlife. I'm fairly new to the series, but now that I'm in...I'm in. The only hindrance that keeps me from seeing it when it initially airs during Adult Swim on Saturday nights is my 26-year-old body's inclination to age about 50 years after the street light comes on, rendering me comatose by at least 9 o'clock. 

I introduced this post with two definitions of face mushing because in Saturday's episode, 308, Aizen, empowered by the Hogyoku, is chasing Ichigo's friends intending to kill them. Ichigo returns, imbued with new power of his own, after tapping into his inner hollow and Zanpakutō. Ichigo calmly tells Aizen he wishes to continue their confrontation elsewhere, but Aizen cockily resists. 

What followed can only be described as the greatest act of disrespect from one man to another. It hurt my pride. Ichigo proceeded to grab Aizen by his face, mushing him for many miles and many minutes. Aizen was in so much shock after Ichigo released him that he just crouched with his own hand up by his face in disbelief. I was so flabbergasted that I couldn't help but shout at the screen, "HE JUST GRABBED YOUR WHOLE FACE!" But you can't say Ichigo didn't calmly warn him first. Ichigo then continued deflecting and breaking through each and every one of Aizen's attacks and his incantation. If I were Aizen, I'd just hang it up and call it a day and hope that none of Ichigo's friends share with anyone else the story of me getting manhandled and mushed beyond belief.

Love Hurts

Apparently, a 'war of words' is cliché these days and people would prefer to throw chemicals on one another. In Maryland, bleach and Pine Sol were thrown between feuding patrons of a Walmart. The store was evacuated and shut down for cleanup for two hours and nineteen unknowing shoppers were sent to the hospital for fume and eye damage.

Most of the time I'm just trying to get in and out of Walmart with the speed of lightning (because, let's be honest, the prices can be pretty awesome) but the people can sometimes be quite...colorful. The number of Snuggies, Crocs and Winnie the Pooh belly shirts I've seen strolling through the store is enough to make me mumble "Hakuna Matata" backwards so no one interferes with my snack food mission. Not to mention the amount of perfume and record contracts sold out of the trunk of people's cars. Apparently, I could have been the next Beyonce when all I really wanted was some Goldfish, fruit cups and Oreos.

Side-note: I may in fact be one of the...colorful people you see in the store. Hmmm.

But this bleach throwing assault was a whole new level of disturbing. Incidents like these are truly scary when you think that children or babies could have been in the vicinity. I regret that innocent bystanders became victims to the feud of strangers and I hope no one sustained severe injuries. I'm guessing the Walmart smiley face is looking more like a frown these days, and that "live better" part of the slogan is sounding a little suspect.
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