Making Friends as Adults: The Struggle

Vanityfair.com

Making friends as adults is not easy. Little kids really don't know how easy they have it, with their sticky faces and lack of bills.

There should be a course in college on making friends as adults to prepare you for the social struggle. Many people are already set in their social circles (and/or middle school clique mentalities) and choose not to veer outside of that. Some people are 'one and dones' where you have one great meetup and then wonder if they fell down a well with no cell service. Adult life changes sometimes result in moving and having to make new, geographically closer friends. As an HR professional, I've been considered a business resource more than a new friend. Some people are passive planners so you have to take the initiative to get a date on the books, but that can get tiring and play on your insecurities after a while. The pressure and hours of full time and part time jobs also affect the ability to sync schedules with prospective and current friends. A lack of diversity or inclusion in a particular area is also an obstacle for me, personally, because it can be difficult to be yourself when you can't "see yourself".

I will say that I am about 68% introvert and 32% extrovert, so being out and about for extended periods of time isn't always my thing, but I love to plan! I planned our wedding, which was spectacular, but coming down off of that dreamy high can be a reality shock to the system. I guess I also hoped that after getting married, other couples would just emerge from the shadows with CVS receipt long lists of dinner date ideas and shared interests.

I'm still navigating my way around a new city, that has a lot of baggage, and am looking for new hobbies that pique my interest, as well as getting back into the swing of old favorites that will hopefully present opportunities to meet new people. Wish me/us luck!