"Friends. How many of us have them?” ~Whodini
Or more to the point, how many quality friendships do we have in our adult lives that are conducive to our well-being and growth? Possibly not many. Friendships seem especially hard to maintain post college and prove even more difficult to generate, long term. I think once you reach a certain point of knowing yourself and what you want in and throughout life, it’s easier to weed out those who are on a differing path. And that is completely natural. There are millions of people in the world, and the opportunity to meet new and exciting people is around every corner.
This has been on my mind a lot recently. I can say in all honesty that a large number of people I considered “friends” last year and shared grand experiences with are no longer in my life. Though the endings were the results of seemingly various reasons, two reoccurring themes I found were selfishness and an inability (or lack of desire) to communicate. I have always been a very “talk it out – hug it out” kind of person, but I have never been a person who feels one should have to chase after another person, be it a romantic, platonic, or familial relationship. If there is no mutual desire and effort to keep the relationship afloat and growing, it will inevitably end. And I think those types of endings are tolerable, especially when the relationship was not conducive. I believe that if they can crumble under superficial pressure, they were probably only meant to be temporary to provide greater lessons, or essential beacons in a certain chapter of our life.
As a fiercely loyal person to those around me, it’s hard to come to the realization that I’m being taken for granted, or to endure the petty circumstances of something like being betrayed over a man. However, I’m a proud member of team Free Will, and everyone has the right to make their own choices, be it good, bad or indifferent. The consequences that play out based on those choices are our own to deal with. I think it is possible, and a gift, to acknowledge and appreciate the more casual friendships in our lives, but still, ultimately, keep a small circle of close, loyal friends with unwavering good intentions.
Readers, what are your thoughts? Do you have a large or small group of friends? Do you find making friends in adulthood more or less difficult?