Sunday, July 21, 2013

Summer Blues

It's a cruel, cruel, cruel summer, folks. No offense to those who love summer, but it is my least favorite season. You can never take off enough clothes to get truly cool outside of AC buildings without being arrested. The sweltering heat fries my brain; I've spontaneously exited several conversations out of sheer fatigue and the inability to form the words and phrases I desire. Speaking of spontaneity, getting into my car after 8 hours of it sitting outside in the sun makes me feel as if I'm about to spontaneously combust all over my steering wheel. I also end up moving at the speed of a zombie. I'm not talking World War Z zombies, I'm talking old school, dragging my leg an inch at a time type zombie. Summer brings with it three of my least favorite things:
  • Bugs
  • Germs 
  • Headaches
I get it. It's hot and the bugs are trying to get cool too, but that doesn't mean I want spiders Mission Impossibly diving down from my ceilings or ant colonies taking over my desk in search of any sugary substance. I end up so sweaty and sticky by the end of the day that dirt and bugs stick to me like sticky ribbon tape. No matter how much water I attempt to drink, on some days, when the sun is simply brutal without a cloud in sight, I get an awful headache. Those headaches just add to my lack of energy to do...anything.

Today I saw a woman on the back of a motorcycle in a tank top turning as red as a tomato. Traffic was a beast and she was getting cooked faster than Kramer tanning covered in butter. I would say the only two positives of summer are trips to the beach and my ever-growing hair styling techniques acquired in an effort to battle humidity, keep from sweating my hair out, or burning my neck up. Here's to only two and a half more months of summer and then I can bask in the lovely temps of Autumn!