Monday, August 12, 2013

True Blood 6.9 Life Matters (Spoilers)

By choice, I haven’t watched True Blood for the past few weeks. Since about season 3, it’s not uncommon for me to check-out of the season for many of the middle episodes and check back in for the penultimate episode and then the season finale. True Blood has a knack for convoluted storylines and storylines that go so left field that I end up hopping the fence and finding something else to watch for a few weeks. Invaluable characters are often left by the wayside while other characters bask in too much screen time and plotlines that seem to continue ad nauseam i.e. Alcide and his pack lacking basic home training skills. Season 6 was on an even tighter leash since it is 10 episodes rather than its usual 12. Last night I watched the penultimate episode, 6.9 “Life Matters” and enjoyed the episode. I suppose it was a combination of the heartwarming funeral for Terry with touching, comedic flashbacks, and cast members reuniting, and finally exiting that dreadful vampire internment camp.

The episode opened with Sookie trying to help Warlow after Eric almost drained him in his quest to walk in the sun. Bill cursed at Sookie some more and attempted to forcefully take Warlow to the Vamp Camp to save their friends. In response, Sookie did what all women wish they could do to their verbally abusive and controlling ex-boyfriends: blasted his butt out of the sky. Though, my favorite part of the scene was Sookie’s response to Bill as she attempted to give Warlow some of her blood to rejuvenate him, which stirred Bill. “Seriously? I’m gnawing at my own arm and you drop a fang on me?” Sookie definitely has her moments. On his way to rescue and free his friends, sexy Eric easily ran through vamp camp soldiers in broad daylight leaving limbs, blood, and butts in his wake. He even had time to rip off a scientist’s whole groin and the only full frontal male nude scene of the show came in the form of a gory, dismembered mess, and not the sexy Eric Northman. Bummer. Bill then proceeded to stomp a mud-hole in said scientist’s head…literally. I would hate to have been that guy. He was definitely not having a red-letter day.

On the other side of town, Terry’s storyline finally wrapped up nicely with a heartwarming funeral complete with touching stories, flashbacks, and a very prejudice, senile, yet comedic Grandma Bellefleur.

1.       Lafayette’s lashes. Yes, honey. Also, his memory of first working with Terry was heartbreaking, beautiful, and hilarious all at the same time.
2.       Sookie came out…as a telepath and her flashback, younger self was super annoying.
3.       For about 5 minutes I almost forgot how much of a tool Alcide has been for the majority of this season.
4.       Tara’s mother, Lettie Mae made things awkward by telling Arlene she “wouldn’t miss [Terry’s funeral] for the world”
5.       Breastfeeding made an appearance. Woman power!
6.       Arlene found peace with letting Terry go.

Eric freed all imprisoned vamps, allowing them to take revenge on all guards and scientists that tortured, poked, and prodded them. Basically you saw humans getting their canines ripped out and running naked on the hamster wheel at minimum speed. More homo-erotic dreams await Jason after being healed by Eric’s blood who requested Jason dream good dreams of him. Yowza.

Irony: Former Fellowship of the Sun leader Reverend Newlin met the sun after giving Jason once last declaration of love shout out.

However, Sarah Newlin won again because not only did Eric not sense a very alive and pulse pounding Sarah Newlin hiding amongst dead bodies, but she escaped with her life. Though Jason chased Sarah Newlin down shouting, “You ain’t gonna get away! Too f*ng slow! Too f*ng evil!” and let her know that he had a direct line to Big J, Jesus, his conscience hindered him from spilling any more blood and blowing Sarah’s brains out. However, I think it’s a safe bet that we will be seeing the diabolical and religiously maniacal Sarah Newlin again.

With enough of Warlow’s blood coursing through his veins, Bill sacrificed his body to all vampires trapped in the sun room protecting them from death. They went on their merry way skipping in the sun in a fairy blood stupor while Bill had the Lillith trio slowly advancing on him threatening to take him from this earth. Jessica’s BF James gave Bill some of his blood to offset things and, boom, almost every Bon Temps vamp was skipping in the sun. Vamps all across the world started destroying cartons upon cartons of True Blood infected with the infamous Hep V. Viewers were left with the image of daywalking vamps high on fairy blood with no alternative source of blood as Eric took flight (in a Supermanesque display) and left Pam behind.