Tuesday, November 13, 2012

PMS: I Am Woman, Hear Me Roar

I realized this weekend that if cameras had been following me around during my unscripted short film, PMS: I Am Woman Hear Me Roar, I probably could have made millions. You see, along with one silver hair, loads of new wisdom, and a quarter life crisis that could sink a ship, turning a Quarter of a Century appears to have brought the most massive PMS episode of my entire life. The kind of PMS episode they don’t show you in feminine commercials, electing to show women cart-wheeling on beaches, because that would be just downright depressing, right? Right?! Well, what you probably won’t see in a commercial is: 1. A woman passing out, face-first, from fatigue into her plate of dinner 2. A woman salivating outside the window of Edible Arrangements because that much chocolate in one place is just asking to be ravaged like a scene from Godzilla 3. A woman lying on the floor in what appears to be atrophy as vicious level 5 cramps attack her uterus and back. 4. A woman sobbing uncontrollably in her car during break time for small reasons all amplified by 1000. 5. A woman shouting belligerently like the Hulk in the middle of the Walmart parking lot because someone left their shopping cart in one of a only a few free spaces. Actually, you might see that on any given day…

You probably won’t see those things, but that woman was me.

Long story short, menstrual periods are serious and seriously affect the way a woman’s mind and body works for about an entire week out of every single, long, hard, friggin’ month. Why do you think we bite the heads off of men (figuratively of course-we're not praying mantises) who condescendingly question whether our ______ (insert any emotion or action here) is due to “that time of the month”?

Oh, and if you don't believe the intensity, check out this clip from "New Girl" episode Menzies on FOX.