Jack Bauer Taught Me...

amazon.com/24

One of the greatest shows to ever grace the airways, and FOX network was 24 starring Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer. The word that first comes to mind when I hear the name Jack Bauer is "amazeballs". There aren't too many men who can rescue the president, save the world, torture a terrorist, and make a collect call all in one day. Below are some lessons I have learned from Mr. Bauer's displays of awesomeness:

• How to use my outside voice inside
• Road rage on the side of impeccable driving ability
• It is possible to bite through a man's jugular with your hands tied behind your back!
• How to make the "Chloe-scowl" face
• It's all fun and games until your flare gun is used as a weapon
• How to threaten bodily harm to someone with a towel
• If you need your hand removed because of a deadly virus, just 'axe' me.
• I may not have had the opportunity to remove a knife from my own abdomen and throw it at an enemy's trachea, but I have removed a splinter and thrown it at a tree
• Bench press a table
• Headbutt unsuspecting victims
• Regain consciousness

I will add more lessons learned soon, but some teens just dropped some candy wrappers in my lawn and I'm about to go Jack Bauer batshit. (Feel free to comment and add what you've learned from one of the greatest action heroes ever.) Stay tuned.

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